


Leaving for the Dreaming Planet in the Broad Daylight

by vitaminanime



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alligators & Crocodiles, Animals, Bantering, Breakfast, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Cemeteries, Checkpoints, Clock Towers, Culture Shock, Drinking, Drugs, Eating, F/M, Fantasy Counterpart Cultures, Geography, Hotels, Jealousy, Museums, Original Planets, Original Species, Playing Hooky, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Rain, Rivers, Sharing a Bed, Stairs, Stargazing, Sunsets, Tourism, Vacation, Worldbuilding, bodyguards, interrogations, meetings, puns, sleeping
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 12:55:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29350803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vitaminanime/pseuds/vitaminanime
Summary: In keeping his part of a bargain, Anakin takes Ahsoka to a planet where it's always summer and everyone is always playing music and eating deep-fried swamp creatures and drinking cocktails that induce altered states of consciousness. It seemed like nothing could possibly go wrong, but when they don't show up to an important meeting, Padme questions Anakin's loyalty and personally sets out to retrieve them.
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, Padmé Amidala & Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic takes place immediately after my fic "Flash of a Blade". While not required reading, it does provide context.

"I like furlough and furlough likes me." Said Anakin as he adjusted the dials on their starfighter.

"I like furlough and furlough likes me too, but are you sure you have the authority to grant it?" Said Ahsoka.

"Don't worry about it Snips, we're gonna have fun." Said Anakin.

"I have a bad feeling about this." Said Ahsoka.

"I'm bringing you to Xinwerik' to have fun, and you shall have it." Said Anakin.

"I thought you were bringing me here on the condition I never again repeat the phrase I learned on Ratljóst." Said Ahsoka.

"Don't sweat it. You and me are gonna have fun. We just stay a couple of nights and nobody will know we're missing. What could possibly go wrong?" Said Anakin.

\---

"It seems everyone is here but Anakin and Ahsoka." Said Palpatine to those assembled at the meeting.

"They said they would be here." Said Plo.

"I don't recall them saying explicitly they would be here, but it was thought to be a given, considering it's the briefing on their recent diplomatic mission to the planet Ratljóst." Said Obi-wan.

"You were there to receive them at their arrival. Did they tell you anything?" Said Palpatine to Obi-wan.

"Absolutely nothing." Said Obi-Wan.

"Absolutely nothing? For some reason I find that hard to believe." Said Palpatine as he steepled his fingers.

"I found it hard to believe too, but Anakin said, and I quote, that the steward of Ratljóst insisted on neutrality and that the local populations had bad tempers, no intelligence, and no fondness for civilization." Said Obi-Wan.

"And that was all? They came all that way for nothing? What a pity." Said Luminara.

"Ahsoka did however learned to say this garbled-sounding phrase that I didn't think the humanoid vocal apparatus was capable of pronouncing. It was probably the invocation of a dark god but she kept on repeating it as if it were a parlor trick." Said Obi-Wan.

"Just the sort of thing 'Soka would say and do." Said Plo.

"Then Anakin promised Ahsoka that if she never repeated the phrase again he would take her to the planet where it's always summer and everyone is always playing music and eating deep-fried swamp creatures and drinking cocktails that induce altered states of consciousness." Said Obi-Wan.

"You mean Xinwerik'?" Said Mace.

"That must've been the planet they were referring to, but I didn't think he meant it at the time." Said Obi-Wan.

"You mean the bad weather, vicious wildlife, parades that involve throwing things, systemic hallucinogen addiction, and tacky souvenir shop capital of the Galaxy?" Said Mace.

"When put that way it seems far less inviting, but do we have proof they went there? We have lost all contact with them." Said Obi-Wan.

Just then R2-D2 rolled in, gurgled and blooped, and displayed a star chart revealing Anakin and Ahsoka's last position, right before they made the jump to Xinwerik''s only hyperspace lane, where their trail went cold.

"Thank you, R2." Said Obi-Wan.

R2 gurgled and beeped and blooped as he rolled away. It probably meant "and I told them I wouldn't tell a soul!"

"So it is confirmed then. Anakin and Ahsoka have set a course for Xinwerik' and are probably halfway there by now." Said Obi-Wan.

"But Anakin always promised me that if he ever had reason to go to Xinwerik' he'd take me." Said Padme.

"Do I detect a note of jealousy in your voice?" Said Obi-Wan.

"No, just a bit disappointed." Said Padme as she sat back in her seat and fumed.

"Isn't that a bit of an understatement?" Said Obi-Wan.

"You don't think I would rather be shopping and watching parades and partying and visiting museums and drinking cocktails?" Said Padme.

"Be not begrudging. Enjoyable such a lifestyle may seem to be, even if temporarily, but in actuality, anything but, it is. Debilitating to the mind, poison to the body, and impurifying to the soul, such drugs are." Said Yoda disdainfully.

"I would like to appeal to make the journey to Xinwerik' so as to collect Anakin and Ahsoka. Alone. For me, this is personal." Said Padme.

\--

"We're here." Said Anakin as he pulled down on the lever and made the jump out of hyperspace. The greater part of the Xinwerik' system was visible, with its sun and other planets, but Xinwerik' stood out among them like a green pearl.

"Maybe we should get a little closer." Said Ahsoka.

Anakin pulled down on the lever and made the jump into and out of hyperspace quickly, closer to Xinwerik' but not close enough to be pulled into orbit. A massive ship, larger than a star destroyer, triangular with wider triangles sliding out of its sides, came gliding past their starboard side.

X'SS ARMAGEDDON, LICHPOOL was emblazoned on the hull.

"Not the welcoming committee I was expecting." Said Anakin.

"And they're hailing us." Said Ahsoka as she opened the frequency.

"Armageddon 41, commander Bismarck speaking. State your purpose."

"We're here on furlough." Said Anakin.

"Where are you coming from?" Said Bismarck.

"We're visiting from Coruscant." Said Ahsoka.

"If you are attempting to recruit us to your senseless war, you may as well go home where you no doubt belong." Said Bismarck.

"We don't want trouble. We just came to have a good time." Said Anakin.

"If only that were a valid excuse." Said Bismarck.

"Armageddon 77, lieutenant commander Steuben speaking. If we believed everyone who said that, our planetary system would have gone up in flames long ago."

"But we have no intention of any warlike activities." Said Ahsoka.

"Do you have a passports? Visas?" Said Steuben.

"Are you prepared to answer these questions in customs?" Said Steuben.

"Yeah, we're prepared." Said Anakin, a big sweatdrop rolling down his forehead.

"We have everything we need." Said Ahsoka.

"Evidently you don't." Said Bismarck.

"We have everything we need." Said Ahsoka as she attempted a mind trick.

"Great! Now we have Jedi on our hands! Nice try!" Said Bismarck.

Ahsoka closed the frequency. "Let's get out of here."

They approached Xinwerik' and were almost close enough to initiate landing when another one of their massive ships came sailing past. This one said

X'SS APOCALYPSE, LICHPOOL on the hull.

"Xinwerik' don't seem too happy to see us." Said Anakin.

"You don't say. They're hailing us too." Said Ahsoka as she opened the frequency.

"Apocalypse 80, commander Rochambeau speaking. State your purpose."

"We're here on furlough." Said Anakin.

"How long do you intend to stay here?" Said Rochambeau.

"Two nights." Said Anakin.

"Where will you be staying?" Said Rochambeau.

"Uh...we don't know?" Said Anakin.

"Apocalypse 18, lieutenant commander Lafayette speaking. You can't not know the details of your trip and expect to get through our checkpoints."

"We're playing by ear." Said Anakin.

"Just because we like music around here doesn't mean you can play by ear. Especially when it comes to ones' authorization to pass through Xinwerik'ese space or shipping lanes." Said Lafayette.

"We just came here to have a good time." Said Anakin.

"If we allowed in everyone who claimed to come to Xinwerik' to let the good times roll, the entire planetary system would be in even more hot water than we're already in." Said Rochambeau.

"Listen, we come in peace, we just want to eat deep-fried swamp creatures and see landmarks and drink cocktails." Said Ahsoka.

"Tourists who come to try all our myriad of hallucinogens make me want to get good and tilted." Said Rochambeau.

"With all due respect, number one, you know full well that if you are caught posessing hallucinogenic drink mixes, even if by accident, that you will be subject to an unfair and speedy court martial, and it would be imprudent to even jest about it." Said a voice that sounded younger than the others.

"Apocalypse 16, ensign Galvez speaking." Said the younger-sounding voice. "I realize we've been harsh, as well as any other ships in our flotilla you may have encountered, and not without good reason. Although our system is well-hidden, we are not without threats, foreign and domestic. Due to the recent rise in foreign threats, we have had to amp up security and are skeptical of anyone who comes our way. I see no indications beyond reasonable doubt that you have any malicious intentions. Where are you coming from?

"We're coming from Coruscant." Said Anakin.

"Which planet are you visiting?" Said Galvez.

"Xinwerik', obviously." Said Anakin.

"What do you intend to bring onto our planet?" Said Galvez.

"Just ourselves, a change of clothes, and some toothbrushes." Said Ahsoka.

"Are you obliged to answer questions at a checkpoint?" Said Galvez.

"Umm...yes?" Said Anakin.

"Trick question. Nobody, citizen or non-citizen of the Xinwerik' system, is obliged to answer questions at a checkpoint. However, anything you say can and will be held against you. All you need to say if questioned is 'am I being interrogated?'" Said Galvez.

"So does that mean...?" Said Ahsoka.

"You appear to pose no threat to us. We will let customs interrogate you on world. You have been cleared for arrival. Apocalypse out." Said Galvez.

"That was a nail-biter." Said Anakin.

"You're the one telling me?" Said Ahsoka as they prepared for landing.

"Those didn't sound like stereotypical Xinwerik'ese people. And who named those ships?" Said Anakin.

"Whomever named those ships must've been in a bad mood the day they were christened. And remind me to cross Lichpool off our itinerary." Said Ahsoka, right before they entered Xinwerik''s atmosphere.

\--

Padme was waiting for further instruction when two clone troopers entered. The one on the left had a game of tick-tack-toe drawn on the forehead of his helmet, and the one on the right had "ENSIGN TRENCH IS BOSS" scrawled on the left side of his helmet. They stood at attention and saluted.

"CT-18121, reporting" said the one on the left.

"CT-1975831, reporting." Said the one on the right. They stood at ease. First the one on left took his helmet off, then the one on the right took his helmet off. The one on the right had short hair with two cornrows braided above his left ear, and the one on the left had his hair in a warrior's wolf tail, wrapped in place with a single dreadlock.

"You can call me Riffraff." Said the one on the left.

"And I'm Magenta" said the one on the right.

"We've been assigned your protection." Said Riffraff.

"I never asked for protection." Said Padme.

"You expected to get there on your own?" Said Riffraff.

"We were on a classified mission to Xinwerik' once. We're more familiar with how to get there and the geographic layout than anyone else." Said Magenta.

"But I told them it was personal." Said Padme.

"Personal or no, it's difficult to get there and even more difficult once you arrive. Come along, Senator, your ride awaits." Said Magenta as he offered a hand to help Padme up but she got up on her own.

Riffraff and Magenta ushered Padme to their starfighter, all three blissfully unaware of what lay ahead of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was hoping to have this as a oneshot, but it kept on expanding and expanding, and between having a nonfiction writing project I'm getting paid for and needing a second opinion on with worldbuilding, I'm going to have to do this in installments. I hate to end the first chapter on a cliffhanger, but I'll add chapters when I have time.


	2. Chapter 2

"Well, we bobbed and weaved our way through customs, we exchanged our Republic credits for Xinwerik' dollars, we found out the hard way that if you point at anyone or anything with one finger it could take a few days for the swelling to go down, that a refresher is a bathroom, and that they use pounds, ounces, fahrenheit, inches, feet, and miles as units of measurement. Is there something we've forgotten?" Said Ahsoka in the middle of the crowded spaceport.

"That's my line." Said Anakin.

"We kind of need to find a place to stay." Said Ahsoka.

"You got any ideas, Snips?" Said Anakin as they made their way towards the exit.

"We should have made a reservation." Said Ahsoka.

"You sound like Padme." Said Anakin as they opened the door and stepped outside to be greeted by what seemed like a wall of humid heat, like slipping into a warm bath.

"It would kind of be nice to get out of this heat right away, and if we had a reservation to a hotel or somewhere else to stay we could just that." Said Ahsoka as she fanned herself with her hand.

"But if they found any reservation confirmations they might've found us out. I'm sure there's a hotel with vacancies. Come along, Snips." Said Anakin.

The first hotel they encountered was tall and red brick with wrought-iron balconies and railings. It had a big holosign outside that said "VACANCIES".

They opened the door to a blast of cold air and the strong smell of freon. The lobby was full of ornately carved, velvet-upholstered furniture where arriving and departing guests of all species sat with their luggage, and a human skeleton, or at least a replica of one, lay slumped over a player piano at the far end of the lobby.

Anakin and Ahsoka turned to the front desk to find a very slim young humanoid woman with pale gray skin, platinum hair cut in an angled bob, and platinum eyes with black scleras and spiral pupils.

"Would you happen to be in posession of a reservation?" She said in a monotone.

"No, but we saw the sign outside that said vacancies. Do you have any room for two?" Said Anakin.

"That would be room 304." Said the receptionist.

"How much would it be for two nights?" Said Anakin.

"Twenty-five dollars a night." Said the receptionist.

"Sold." Said Anakin as Ahsoka handed over the deposit.

"Good morning, Zoe!" Called a Sullustan construction foreman coming through the lobby.

"'Morning." Responded Zoe as she turned around to get the keycards from behind the desk. She handed them to Anakin and Ahsoka. "Third floor, facing the street."

Anakin and Ahsoka headed out into the heat of the courtyard, where construction workers of all species were hammering, drilling, and welding.

"I suppose we're getting what we pay for." Said Ahsoka as they headed up the first of three flights of stairs.

"We're here." Said Anakin as they approached their room and tapped the keycard on the lock. They opened the door and entered the chilly, mildew-smelling room.

It was spacious, with a table, a bureau, two twin beds in wrought-brass frames, and full-length windows that overlooked the street.

"It's spacious." Said Ahsoka as she headed over to the windows. "And there's a balcony and a nice view of the street."

Anakin then noticed that the shabby wallpaper had been torn away to reveal exposed brickwork with green slime oozing out of it. He touched it and the green slime came off on his fingers.

"Snips, do you know if it's normal for buildings on Xinwerik' to ooze green slime?" Said Anakin.

Ahsoka observed the slime coming from the wall. "Well, it is a humid environment. Mold likes humidity." Said Ahsoka.

Anakin shrugged and wiped his fingers on the skirt of his tunic.

Ahsoka then investigated the red and black damask curtains, which had once been fine but now were quite shabby and full of holes. She unfurled the curtain to see how it would close, and revealed the holes had come from someone who had cut pattern pieces out of them to make a dress.

"Looks like we're going to be getting up early." Said Ahsoka as she held out the curtain. "And considering we're facing west, and on Xinwerik' the sun rises in the west, we're going to be waking up early tomorrow." Said Ahsoka.

"More time to do stuff." Said Anakin when Ahsoka went into the bathroom and then screamed and jumped out.

"There was a bug the size of my hand in the shower!" Screamed Ahsoka.

"Don't scare me like that, Snips." Said Anakin.

"Seriously! I'm not sure I want to stay in a place like this." Said Ahsoka.

"So, we have a few extra roommates." Said Anakin as he peeled back the blankets on one of the beds. He recoiled to find it was crawling with bugs.

"Let's get out of here." Said Anakin.

They returned to the lobby and handed over the keycards and retrieved the deposit from Zoe.

"I'm afraid there isn't a lot I can do. This is an old hotel with lots of character. If you don't like that, find a different hotel." Said Zoe.

"It has nothing to do with character. We're fine with character, but no lodging should be full of bugs and mold and dirty sheets and exposed brickwork. We're not asking for a lot. It shouldn't be too had to keep a room clean." Protested Ahsoka.

"Snips. Don't bother. It's not worth your time." Said Anakin.

Just then, the Sullustan foreman came into the lobby.

"Zoe, better call the city watch. We just found two more dead bodies buried in the courtyard. By the looks of it they've been there over three hundred standard years." He said.

"I'm not so sure I want to be staying in a hotel with bodies buried in the courtyard." Said Ahsoka.

"Uhh...me neither." Said Anakin.

"Then you'd best find another planet. Xinwerik' is the planet where the living meet the dead and together dance as one." Said Zoe.

As Anakin and Ahsoka were heading out the door and into the heat, Ahsoka gave Zoe the stinkeye.

"All the hotels we've looked at are either too crummy or too expensive." Said Anakin as they walked down the street.

"It's what we get for not making a reservation." Said Ahsoka.

"Seriously, we arrived in the morning and now it will be getting dark soon." Said Anakin as he tucked sweaty tendrils of hair behind his ear.

"It would seem strange how even though Xinwerik' has thirty-six hour rotations, time sure does go by fast." Said Ahsoka.

"If worst comes to worst, we could always stay at that first hotel." Said Anakin.

"I am not staying there! Especially after finding out that the species of bug I found in the shower bite and drink blood." Said Ahsoka.

"Then you'd be just fine. They'd hate to drink the blood of one of their own." Said Anakin.

"Skyguy!" Snapped Ahsoka.

"Wait, this hotel has vacancies." Said Anakin as they approached the light gold-taupe building with wrought-iron railings that had a sign outside that said

HOUSE OF THE RISING TIDE  
VACANCIES

"Let's take a look." Said Ahsoka as they headed inside.

Inside, they were met with a blast of cool air and floral air freshener. The lobby was well-maintained, with filigree-print wallpaper, crystal chandeliers, nicely upholstered furniture, and there was a table with complimentary water and tea and caff laid out. Guests of all species were coming and going, and there was a line to get to the front desk.

"This had better be worth the wait." Said Ahsoka to Anakin.

They finally arrived at the front desk and were greeted by a blue Twi'lek receptionist who was wearing a green, purple, and gold headband.

"Do you have your reservation number ready?" She said.

"We saw the sign outside that said vacancies." Said Anakin.

"I'm afraid the only vacancy for two that I have is in the annex, with no view." She said.

"How much per night?" Said Anakin.

"One hundred eighty dollars per night." She said.

Anakin looked at Ahsoka. "Deal?"

"Bit pricy, but still within our limit." Said Ahsoka.

"Sold." Said Anakin.

They gave the receptionist the deposit and she swiveled back and retrieved the keycards.

"Through the door to your right, past the courtyard, and to the left." She said and pointed to the door with two fingers. "My name is Yavanna if you need anything."

Anakin and Ahsoka headed out the door and into the heat, through the courtyard, to the annex, and turned left to find the door to their room. Anakin tapped the keycard to the lock and the door opened, directly to a flight of stairs.

"This is not quite like the other hotels we've looked at today." Said Ahsoka as they climbed the stairs.

They reached the top of the stairs to find the room. It was small, very small. Its walls were painted white with hardwood floors. It had one double bed, a crystal chandelier hanging over the bed, two nightstands, a mirror, a claustrophobically tiny bathroom, a chair, and a window overlooking the alley and the hotel next door.

"So we're basically paying a hundred eighty dollars a night to sleep in an extremely fancy closet." Said Anakin.

"You do need a passport just to stretch out, but there's no mold or bugs or signs of disrepair." Said Ahsoka. She peeked into the bathroom. "There's no bugs in the shower." She then turned back a blanket on the bed. "No bugs or mysterious stains on the sheets." She tucked the sheet back under the mattress. "I say this one gives us what we need." She set their knapsacks down on the chair by the window and then headed back over to the bed.

"There's only one bed. I'll flip you for it." Said Anakin as he held out a spare credit.

"You know that if you flip a credit over a bed, it always lands on its side and then you have to share the bed." Said Ahsoka.

"So what if it does? It's wide enough for two people. We could put something between us." Said Anakin.

"Even so." Said Ahsoka. "It would be uncouth for a master and a padawan to sleep in the same bed." She took a blanket and pillow off the bed and made a bed for herself on the floor. "We can take turns."

"Now that that's settled, let's get something to eat." Said Anakin.

"I could go for some deep fried swamp creatures." Said Ahsoka.

"Then let's get wasted." Said Anakin as they went down the stairs.

"We can get wasted anywhere. I believe the term is 'tilted' said Ahsoka as she followed Anakin down the stairs.

"Then let's get tilted." Said Anakin

"Maybe we should wait and do a little research before we have any cocktails. I hear tilting is the best known, but each cocktail has its own slang terms, like slanted, rotated, or melted." Said Ahsoka.

"We'll try them all later. We need to eat first." Said Anakin as he shut the door behind them.

\---

\--

"Are you sure you are open to waiting an hour?" Said Ahsoka as they passed a line to what was evidently a very popular restaurant.

"Maybe not." Said Anakin.

"That cantina across the street doesn't have a line." Said Ahsoka as she pointed to it with two fingers. "Let's go!"

They waited at the entrance to be greeted by a young human woman with dyed blonde hair and synthetic eyelashes and wearing a green and black striped utility dress and apron.

"Table for two?" She said.

"Sounds about right." Said Anakin.

"Let me show you to your table. My name is Consuelo and I will be your hostess." She said as she ushered Anakin and Ahsoka through the dining room, past the bar, and up a flight of stairs to a second dining room with a gallery where dancing girls in corsets, voluminous skirts, and feathered headdresses had linked arms and were kicking high and low, and the band was playing a shanty:

_I wish I was in Himmelsöhne now_

_Confound them all!_

_I was told we'd cruise through space for arcane tomes_

_We'd fire no shots, shed no tears_

_Now I'm an undead man on a Lichpool pier_

_The last of Barlow's privateers_

Consuelo showed Anakin and Ahsoka to a table on the balcony overlooking the street and the square, cathedral, town hall, clock tower, and river beyond, with pedestrians passing by and dancing girls in corsets and skirts in a chorus line on the balcony across the street.

"What might I get you started with? Said Consuelo.

"Ooh, I can't decide!" Said Ahsoka as she pored over the holographic menu.

"You'll be deciding for half an hour, knowing you." Said Anakin.

"Surprise us." Said Ahsoka.

"That could be dangerous, but surprise you I will." Said Consuelo as she left.

"Can't believe we made it this far. One day we're on a dark planet full of crumbling ruins, temples with upside-down staircases, icky creatures in spades, and a smarmy steward, with next we're here, on the other side of the galaxy, where it's warm and busy and the people are by in large good-natured." Said Ahsoka.

"Hey, I promised you." Said Anakin.

"And I took you up on the promise." Said Ahsoka.

Just then, Consuelo returned with a plate and two glasses of water.

"You said surprise me, so here is a plate of deep-fried shrimp, deep fried crawfish, and deep-fried velocigator liver bites." She said as she set the plate and two glasses of water down.

"Enjoy." Said Consuelo as she headed down the stairs.

"What's this?" Said Ahsoka as she selected a round deep-fried nugget on a toothpick. "I think this might be velocigator liver." She took a bite. "MMM!" She exclaimed.

"You like it?" Said Anakin.

"You think!" Said Ahsoka as she took another bite.

Anakin selected a velocigator liver bite and took a bite.

"Do you like it?" Said Ahsoka as she selected a deep fried shrimp and took a bite.

"I think my cholesterol just went through the roof." Said Anakin.

"That's not an answer!" Said Ahsoka as she helped herself to another deep-fried shrimp. "Did you like it?"

"It's very greasy." Said Anakin.

"I thought you liked liver." Said Ahsoka.

"I do, but deep frying liver is kind of decadent." Said Anakin.

"You came here knowing that the Xinwerik'ese will deep fry and eat anything with four legs that isn't a table, anything that swims that isn't a submersible, and anything that flies that isn't a starfighter." Said Ahsoka as she selected a deep-fried crawfish.

"I just didn't think anyone would think of deep-frying liver." Said Anakin as he selected a shrimp.

"Maybe it's for the better. They say you are what you eat." Said Ahsoka as she took the last liver bite.

"In your case, long, fast, and vicious." Said Anakin as he took a crawfish.

"Skyguy!" Said Ahsoka. "I'm not a velocigator!"

"But the girl at the front desk at the hotel with the swimming pool and the in-room holonet screens said you were madder than a wet velocigator." Said Anakin.

"Wait, if velocigators are aquatic, wouldn't that mean they're always wet?" Said Ahsoka.

"I guess velocigators are always mad." Said Anakin.

"I see you polished off your variety plate. Might I interest you in anything else?" Said Consuelo as she stopped by on her rounds and took the empty plate.

Ahsoka scanned the menu again. "I'll have the nutria etouffe." She said.

"I'll have the same." Said Anakin.

"Coming right up." Said Consuelo as she continued on her rounds.

"I have no idea what a nutria is but I'm assuming it lives in a swamp." Said Ahsoka.

"I'm assuming the same." Said Anakin.

"Maybe it's a type of shellfish." Said Ahsoka.

"We'll find out soon enough, but how many swamp creatures is too many?" Said Anakin.

"Never too many! Swamp creatures are delicious." Said Ahsoka.

"I'm starting to think maybe the reason Xinwerik'ese people eat swamp creatures is so that the swamp creatures don't eat them." Said Anakin.

Just then, Consuelo returned with their plates of nutria etouffe and placed them on the table.

"Enjoy." She said as she left.

Ahsoka took a bite.

"This is also the best thing I've ever had in my mouth!" Ahsoka as she took another bite.

"Tastes like bantha." Said Anakin as he took another bite.

"What are you talking about? Nutria tastes nothing at all like bantha!" Said Ahsoka as she took some water and looked across the street to the balcony with the dancing girls. "I wonder how those dancing girls keep on going in the heat in those corsets. They haven't stopped at all."

"They must have their tricks." Said Anankin.

"Just thinking about it makes me feel faint." Said Ahsoka.

"What would you do if you were on a mission and needed to be undercover as one of those girls?" Said Anakin.

"I would probably...let me think. I would make sure there was a place I could hide my lightsaber, I wouldn't lace the stays on the corset too tightly, make sure the weight of the skirt was evenly distributed so it doesn't seem as heavy, hope there are choreographed exits and entrances so I could sneak some water, do whatever the other girls are doing and hope nobody notices if I'm not, and...hold it right there." Said Ahsoka.

"What is it, Snips?" Said Anakin.

"Look at that sunset." Said Ahsoka.

Anakin turned around to find the sun was melting on the eastern shore of the river into an apocalyptic haze of violet, orange, and scarlet.

"I heard you gasp when you saw it." Said Ahsoka. "Quite a far cry from the sunset on Ratljóst, where the sun is just a pinpoint in the sky and the clouds turn a disappointing blue and green."

"Though in all honesty, the sky here doesn't appear all that different here than on Coruscant. The sky is light blue during the day, red at sunset, and by the looks of it will be dark blue at night." Said Anakin.

"But the sun is much bigger here because Xinwerik' is much closer to its sun." Said Ahsoka as Anakin turned back around.

"Snips!" Exclaimed Anakin when he saw his plate was suddenly half-eaten and Ahsoka's plate was mostly full. "You are too sneaky for your own good!" He said as he switched their plates back around.

"I would say you fell for it but I honestly didn't get the idea until after you turned around." Said Ahsoka.

"And I'm supposed to believe you why?" Said Anakin.

"Because I said so!" Said Ahsoka as she chewed on a bit of nutria meat.

"Because I said so isn't an answer!" Said Anakin.

"You say it all the time." Said Ahsoka.

"No I don't!" Said Anakin.

"You might someday." Said Ahsoka.

Anakin and Ahsoka continued dining on the balcony among the clink of ice in glasses and cutlery on earthenware and people chattering and playing music down below, when out of nowhere, Ahsoka pointed up at the sky with two fingers to a random star.

"That star right there is Ratljóst's sun" said Ahsoka.

"No it's not." Said Anakin. "Ratljóst is on the opposite side of the galaxy at outermost edge of the Unknown Regions."

"But we could see here from Ratljóst, no doubt. We could see the entire galaxy from Ratljóst." Said Ahsoka as she scraped her plate.

"We're going to be talking about Ratljóst a lot once we get back. Let's not talk about Ratljóst for the rest of our stay here." Said Anakin.

"Ok." Said Ahsoka as she aggressively scraped the last bits of sauce off her plate.

"Don't scrape your plate, Snips. I'm sure there's more in the kitchen." Said Anakin. 

Ahsoka took a gulp of water.

"If you're still hungry you can finish mine." Said Anakin.

"You sure?" Said Ahsoka.

"There's only three or four bites left and I wasn't going to finish it anyway." Said Anakin as he traded plates with Ahsoka for real this time.

"Thank you!" She said as she finished Anakin's leftovers.

"You polished that off." Said Consuelo as she came by. "Would you like the bill?"

"Yes." Said Ahsoka as Consuelo cleared away the plates, utensils, and cups.

"Coming right up." Said Consuelo as she not long thereafter returned to with the bill.

"Keep the change." Said Anakin as they left and headed down the stairs and onto the street.

The night was warm and the street musicians were still playing and people were talking and laughing and carrying drinks of all varieties.

"Should we get tilted?" Said Anakin.

"Maybe we should hold off." Said Ahsoka as they waited in line for a street vendor who was selling drinks. "Maybe we should get slanted or rotated or whatever it is that those people with the fishbowl drinks have."

"Maybe we should ask the vendor." Said Anakin right before it was their turn.

"What effects do your drinks have?" Asked Anakin to the vendor, a short, stocky, red-faced, prickly-headed adolescent with hairy six-toed feet and six fingers on each hand and green-gray eyes with gray scleras.

"You ain't gonna find anything in my drinks that make y'all see pink velocigators and blue nutrias. I ger-on-tee it." He grumbled in a twangy accent.

"Be nice to the tourists, Etienne!" Said the other vendor who was carrying a blender.

"So what can I get fer y'all." Said Etienne.

"What's jackfruit?" Said Ahsoka as they read the menu.

"It's a really big fruit. It if falls on yer head yer head go splat." Said Etienne.

"What's Akk'adïenne napalm?" Said Anakin.

"Me. I'm Akk'ädienne. We heat oil and flour real hot and cook with it. Gets really really hot. Can double as an explosive." Said Etienne.

"Blue salt?" Said Ahsoka.

"Our blue salt shakes are made from real blue salt from inland underground lakes." Said Etienne.

"Could we get two of them?" Said Ahsoka.

"Comin' right up." Said Etienne as the other vendor staff set about blending up the shakes.

"Here y'all go." Said Etienne as he handed them the shakes.

They paid and then made their way to the end of the street and around the corner and past the square to the meeting houses and the cathedral and the clock tower, where people were coming into and out of the internal flights of stairs.

"Should we climb the clock tower?" Said Ahsoka as they entered the stairwell.

"I'll race you." Said Anakin as he force-jumped to the landing at the top of the first flight of stairs.

"Hey! No cheating!" Said Ahsoka as she ran up the flight of stairs. "And I'm the one with the drinks!"

They climbed up every flight of stairs and finally arrived at the top, with the face of the thirty-six hour analogue clock towered overhead. The air was still balmy but a nice breeze was coming from the river, and the view extended far and wide.

"Get a load of that view!" Said Ahsoka when they exited the stairwell and onto the viewing platform. The vista extended across the entire city, the course of the river, right to the immediate bend, all the way up to the delta and the ocean beyond, all lit up at night.

"That was an ordeal." Said Anakin when they reached the top. "Especially with no cheating."

"Seven hundred and two steps, to be exact. It was worth the effort." Said Ahsoka as they found a ledge to sit down. "That view though." She said as she handed the other drink to Anakin.

"Definitely a panoramic view." Said Anakin as he took a sip of the blue salt shake.

"It's both salty and sweet at the same time." Said Ahsoka.

"But with a slightly starchy aftertaste." Said Anakin.

"Doesn't the city look like it's wearing jewelry?" Said Ahsoka.

"I'm not sure that's the word I would use but I get your idea." Said Anakin.

"No wonder they call Xinwerik' the Dreaming Planet. It's like a scene from straight out of a dream." Said Ahsoka as she took a slurp of shake.

"A good dream, no doubt." Said Anakin as he took a slurp of shake.

"Of course a good dream! The night sky is studded with stars, the city lights are all lit up, there's a nice breeze coming up from the bend in the river where barges and seafaring ships are sailing past, and the moon is hanging in the sky like a tiny white pearl, unlike Ratljóst, where the at night the horizon glows red and the moon is enourmous and bright red and bright enough to cast a shadow." Said Ahsoka.

"I thought we weren't discussing Ratljóst." Said Anakin.

"I wonder where all that water in the river is coming from." Said Ahsoka.

"Snow." Said the human girl to their left who was wearing a red crop top and had olive skin, long coarse black hair, and was drinking a thick brown and white drink with ice cubes.

"Snow?" Said Ahsoka.

"On a sweltering planet such as this?" Said Anakin.

"Yes. It all comes from snow. You see, to the south, at the equator, there are mountains that are so tall they are always covered in snowcaps. Now you may have heard that it's always summer on Xinwerik'. The fact of the matter is, just because Xinwerik' doesn't tilt on its axis doesn't mean we don't get seasons. Xinwerik's orbit around the sun is elliptical." She demonstrated with her hands, holding her left hand in a fist and drawing a wide oval around her fist with two fingers with her right hand. "And during Xinwerik''s phase of its two hundred eighty-eight day revolution around the sun when it's closest to the sun, the bright sunlight is melting the snow, and the Xinwerik' River inundates the plains to the south." She said.

"Wouldn't that cause flooding?" Said Ahsoka.

"It most certainly does, but in places where we don't want flooding, such as we build levees, and on to the plains to the south, the inundation revives the wetlands and makes it a good location for growing crops." She said.

"Wait, so you have desert swamps?" Said Anakin.

"We most certainly do." She said. "What determines a swamp is the rainfall, not necessarily how arid it is."

"This is one weird world." Said Anakin.

"Then, with inundation season, that's when we celebrate with dances and parades and masquerades and feasting and all-out having a good time." She said.

"So that's where that comes from." Said Ahsoka.

"A lot of people misconstrue that inundation season and the associated parading and partying is all year long, but that isn't really so." She said.

"I think we know a lot of people who are under that impression." Said Ahsoka.

"Every off-worlder I've ever met has thought so and I like to clear up misconceptions to every off-worlder I meet, or my name isn't Nyx Starchaser." She said.

Anakin and Ahsoka gave Nyx an odd look.

"I don't know if you're here on business or vacation or obscure grand tour, but if you ever come here during inundation season and attend an inundation season parade, our parades involve throwing things. Anything. So, if you ever return for inundation season and watch a parade, carry a big sign on a very solid board that say in big letters: 'FIRST INUNDATION SEASON. THROW ME A..." said Nyx.

"I don't know how soon we'll be coming back but I suppose that's good to know." Said Ahsoka.

"And you're going to need it. Inundation season is the busiest time of year for dentists because so many people get teeth knocked out." Said Nyx.

"Sounds like an excellent way to get a concussion." Said Anakin.

"That too. Most inundation celebrations are all in good fun, but some use it as an excuse for debauchery and to get extra drugged and have standards lower than our current elevation." Said Nyx.

"What?" Said Ahsoka. "We're on top of the highest point in the city."

"We are currently below sea level. This northernmost part of the continent is called Lower Xinwerik', and the southernmost part of the continent is called Upper Xinwerik'." Said Nyx.

"So let me get this straight. Lower Xinwerik' is higher up then upper Xinwerik', and Upper Xinwerik' is lower down than upper Xinwerik'." Said Anakin.

"No, I think Lower Xinwerik' is upper up than Upper Xinwerik', and Upper Xinwerik' is downer up than Lower Xinwerik." Said Ahsoka.

"So basically, the Xinwerik' runs north, but where it is further south, the higher it is topographically." Said Nyx.

"I think I just broke my brain." Said Ahsoka.

"Maybe Obi-Wan would understand this." Said Anakin.

"It's the type of geography that should only exist on Ratljóst." Said Ahsoka.

"Ratl-yust? Where's that?" Said Nyx.

"Nowhere, we promised each other we wouldn't talk about it." Said Ahsoka.

"Xinwerik' may seem unusual to an outsider, but there's nowhere I would rather live. It might not be perfect, far from it, but it is my home." Said Nyx.

"Hey Nyx! Nice knowing ya!" Came a voice from behind. 

"I'm coming, Chloe! Tell Maria and Paola they can start climbing down without me!" Said Nyx as she stood up and took a last pull on her drink. "Nice talking with y'all!" She said as she left with her friends.

"We should also probably get going." Said Ahsoka as the bell began to chime thirty. She and Anakin stood up and Force-tossed their empty cups into the wastebin.

"I'll race you this time." Said Anakin as he headed for the stairs.

"Hey! No cheating! Said Ahsoka as she Force-jumped ahead of Anakin and got a head start on the stairs.

"It feels like my legs are about to fall off." Said Anakin once they reached the bottom of the stairs and they exited the stairwell.

"Gee! I hope not!" Said Ahsoka as they started down the sidewalk. "And you should hope not too! Now what should we do next?"

Thunder growled in the distance and it began to rain.

"Maybe we should get back to our hotel." Said Anakin.

"For once you have a good idea!" Said Ahsoka as they began to make their way to their hotel.

\--  
Meanwhile, Padme, Riffraff, and Magenta were well on their way to Xinwerik'. Riffraff was navigating, Magenta was piloting, and Padme was staring off into hyperspace. Since they had made the jump to hyperspace, neither of them had exchanged a word.

"Riffraff, Magenta, is Xinwerik' really as dangerous as everyone says it is?" Said Padme, breaking the silence.

"No, Senator, Xinwerik' isn't really as dangerous as everyone says it is." Said Magenta. "It's a lot more dangerous than everyone says it is."

"How is that even possible?" Said Padme.

"Bad weather, vicious wildlife, systemic hallucinogen addiction, poverty, civil unrest, gang violence, poor working conditions, I could go on all day." Said Magenta.

"Unfortunately many of those things are present on virtually all inhabited planets, but how bad is the weather? How vicious is the wildlife?" Said Padme.

"Every season is hurricane season on Xinwerik'. Most never reach landfall, but when they do they cause mass distruction, which some communities never recover from." Said Magenta.

"Though some native peoples such as the A'kkadi'ënne people have levee building and seawall building and water purification and houses built on risers down to a science, many people are left in half-destroyed homes, up to their roofs in water, with water everywhere but none of it is drinkable." Said Riffraff.

"Even though it was years ago now, there are still communities that were left impoverished by the most recent hurricane." Said Magenta.

"And don't get us started on the wildlife." Said Riffraff.

"The mosquitos thought we were delicious and can bite through armor." Said Magenta. "And they carry terrible diseases."

"The mosquitos are nothing compared to the dire-leeches." Said Riffraff.

"Dire-leech? I don't like the sound of that." Said Padme.

"They're three feet or a meter long, have ninety rows of razor-sharp teeth, have analgesics in their saliva so you can't feel their bite, and a single one can exsanguate an adult humanoid in just three minutes." Said Riffraff.

"However there are some people who believe the saliva of a dire-leech can cure all ills." Said Magenta.

"I don't know about cure all ills, but I could see its analgesic and anticoagulant properties having medicinal purposes. The Mandalorian clan Ochsner, an entire clan of court physicians, have the bite mark of a dire-leech as their clan crest." Said Riffraff.

"I hope I never have the misfortune of getting bitten by one." Said Padme.

"As long as you don't go wading in the swamps outside the city ramparts barefoot you should be fine. You still need to watch out for velocigators." Said Magenta.

"Don't people eat those?" Said Padme.

"They do eat velocigators, but only so the velocigators don't eat them first." Said Magenta.

"They grow to be thirty feet or nine point fourteen meters from end to end, can run up to one hundred thirty-six kilometers or eighty-five miles per hour, can climb up to thirty feet or nine point fourteen meters, have one hundred and sixty very sharp teeth, and scales that are impervious to blaster shots, metal blades, and lightsabers." Said Riffraff.

"The only two ways to kill it are to wrangle it and then slide a very sharp, thin blade under one specific scale at the nape of its neck, or to shoot the very back of its maw when its jaws are parted." Said Magenta.

"Only the A'kkadi'ënne people are brave or foolish enough to wrangle velocigators, and they only grow up to a meter to four feet tall." Said Riffraff.

"The time I almost got eaten by a velocigator was the most terrifying moment of my life, and I have had several." Said Magenta. 

"I would rather have ten thousand clankers in front of me than one velocigator behind me." Said Riffraff.

"What's even more frightening is that the 'gators are an invasive species. On their planet of origin they have natural predators." Said Magenta.

"Is all this why everyone drinks those cocktails? To escape from it all, I would think." Said Padme.

"One of several reasons. Life on Xinwerik' can be tough so lots of people drink hallucinogenic cocktails, even when they should be contributing to society. People fear for the stability of society." Said Magenta.

"And you found all this out on your mission." Said Padme.

"Most of it's still classified." Said Magenta.

"What are you talking about? Most of the mission was spent loitering on a space station above Xinwerik'ese space." Said Magenta.

"We did get to experience a synth juice cocktail." Said Riffraff.

"I heard about that one. That's the red one that causes the vivid hallucinations. How was that?" Said Padme.

"To begin with, it was a fraction of the size of the cocktails they serve on the surface." Said Riffraff.

"It was so cold and sweet it made my teeth hurt. I bailed after one sip." Said Magenta.

"I finished it. My fingers got a bit tingly, but nothing really to call home about. Some people however get really vivid hallucinations and the whites of their eyes turn rainbow." Said Riffraff.

"The whites of their eyes turn rainbow? You must be pulling my leg." Said Padme.

"It will in fact turn the white of the eyes rainbow in species with white scleras." Said Riffraff.

"And don't get us started on the other drugs they offer. There's the purple slush that gives frightening hallucinations, the teal blue shot that causes hyperactivity and makes you stay awake for days, there's the red shot that causes hyper alertness, the pink one that causes one to lose all sense of time, to name a few, each with its own name and and slang term." Said Magenta.

"And then there's morphine, but that's injected and is primarily used for medicinal purposes. It never caught on." Said Riffraff.

"It's very potent stuff. No wonder they monitor it so closely." Said Riffraff.

"With all those drugs, how does anyone get anything done?" Said Padme.

"They call it the Dreaming Planet for a reason. Everyone is always so intoxicated that the stability of society is constantly on the verge of collapse." Said Riffraff.

"Xinwerik' is so unstable that some people believe it is because it is flat and is carried on the back of a giant turtle that swims through space." Said Magenta.

"All right, whoever thought of that one had to have been under the influence of some kind of mind-altering substance." Said Padme.

"You don't know the half of it." Said Magenta.

\--

Anakin and Ahsoka returned to their hotel room and started getting ready for the night.

"When you're done brushing your teeth the refresher is mine." Said Ashoka as she got into her bed on the floor and started reading the book someone had left in the nightstand drawer.

"Almost done." Said Anakin as he left. "All yours."

Ahsoka went into the bathroom and started brushing her teeth. "Just don't lose my place in the book I was reading!"

"You actually know how to read?" Said Anakin.

"I do. And a lot better than you!" Said Ahsoka in spite of the toothbrush.

Ahsoka found Anakin lying on the bed, and immediately wished she had the bed.

"I adjusted the dials on the climate control so it isn't freezing." Said Anakin.

"Thanks." Said Ahsoka as she yawned and lay down on her bed on the floor and accidentally bumped her elbow on the floor.

"Ouch! Right in the funny bone!" Said Ahsoka.

"That's why you have no sense of humor." Said Anakin.

"I find that humerus." Said Ahsoka. "But it's no laughing matter that tomorrow night it's your turn to sleep on the floor!"

"Sucks to be you, Snips!" Said Anakin as he turned out the light and got under the covers.

Ahsoka pulled the blanket up to her head. "If you get up in the middle of the night to use the refresher I'm tripping you!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Sons of Heaven" (German title: Himmelsöhne) is a comic by Jeremy Barlow in a very rare issue of Star Wars Rebels Magazine. It is extremely hard to find a copy or even a scan, and "Barrett's Privateers" is a song by Stan Rogers.
> 
> A nutria is a real animal. A type of large rodent that live in swamps of the American Southeast, among other places.


	3. Chapter 3

"'Morning, Snips." Said Anakin as he got out of bed.

Ahsoka grunted in her sleep. She had rolled up against the wall and slid forward so her feet were touching the half-wall that ran parallel to the staircase, blocking the way to the refresher. 

Anakin pushed Ahsoka by the feet so her head was up near the nightstand.

"You weren't lying you said you were tripping me." Said Anakin as he went into the refresher and started taking care of business.

Ahsoka groaned and shoved the pillow over her head. "Five more minutes!" She moaned.

"We're not in a hurry." Said Anakin. "The refresher is all yours when you're ready."

Ahsoka sat up and yawned and stretched. "I'm stiff as a board." And she lay back on her pillow.

"What do you think you might want to do today?" Said Anakin as he sat down on the bed.

"Before we have any fun today I need to de-board-ify myself." Said Ahsoka as she stretched out.

"De-board-ify isn't a word." Said Anakin.

"You'll find it will be because you have the floor tonight." Said Ahsoka as she stood up and headed to the refresher and took care of business.

"Good thing night isn't for another...how many hours?" Anakin looked at the digital alarm clock on the nightstand. "It says eight hours, and it's dawn right now. I guess night won't be until twenty-five hours."

"Could be longer, for all we know." Said Ahsoka as she came out of the refresher.

"Move out of the way, Skyguy. I need to make the bed for you." Said Ahsoka as she made the blanket and pillow into a bed on the flood once more. "So you too will know the floorboard experience."

"We've slept in far less comfortable places on missions. I think you've just gotten soft." Said Anakin.

"We're not on a mission, we're on vacation, and I don't think you'll be saying that tomorrow morning." Said Ahsoka as she plumped the pillow.

There was a knock on the door.

"Coming!" Said Ahsoka as she went down the stairs and opened the door.

She was greeted by a human maid with tan skin and dark brown hair in a bun with side bangs who was wearing green lace-trimmed skirt, blouse, and apron. She was carrying a tray laden with two cups of strong black chicory root caff and two plates laden with deep-fried buns heaped with sugar.

"Breakfast is ready." She said.

"All right there." Said Ahsoka as she took the tray from the maid. She inspected the tray's contents. "This is unexpected."

"Breakfast is complimentary." She said. "Watch your step on those stairs. My name is Cecile and I'll be around if you need anything."

"Breakfast on Xinwerik'" Said Ahsoka as she set the tray down on the bed, careful not to spill anything.

"I don't know if those look delicious or tooth-rotting." Said Anakin as he sat down on the bed and took one of the cups of caff and took a sip and cringed. "They put something potent in here." He said.

"They call it the Dreaming Planet, but and the days are really long and people need to stay awake. Maybe it contains something that keeps you awake even longer than regular caff." Said Ahsoka as she took the other cup of caff and took a sip. "That is really strong stuff." Said Ahsoka.

Anakin took a spoon and spooned some of the sugar from his plate of buns and stirred it into Ahsoka's caff.

"Skyguy!" Said Ahsoka as she scooped two spoonfulls of sugar into Anakin's cup of caff.

"You started it." Said Anakin.

"Now how are we going to eat this without spilling sugar or caff all over the place?" Said Ahsoka. "There's no table."

"We could sit on the base of the stairs." Said Anakin.

"I was thinking the same thing." Said Ahsoka. She stood up and carried the tray down the stairs, and Anakin Force-raised some errant grains of sugar that had fallen from the tray.

Anakin and Ahsoka set their tray on the floor at the base of the stairs and opened the door to the balmy summer morning, the other guests that were sitting at the tables in the courtyard, eating breakfast and talking, and to find Yavanna on top of a ladder with a tool kit, fixing a light fixture over the door to the other room in the annex.

"Good morning." Said Yavanna as she twisted a screw.

"Good morning, Yavanna." Said Ahsoka as she attempted to find the neatest way to consume the sugary bun.

"Got any plans for today?" Said Yavanna as she selected some screws from one of the cargo pockets on her black knee-length shorts.

"Our first plan is to eat breakfast without making a mess or turning our teeth to goo." Said Anakin as he too a swig of caff.

"Kind of a culture shock." Said Ahsoka.

"Culture shock is not unusual around here. I've worked here about two years now and have seen my fair share." Said Yavanna as she tightened a screw.

"Don't mind if I ask, but do people on Xinwerik' eat these for breakfast every day?" Said Anakin.

"Some people do, but I certainly don't. No nutritional value whatsoever. I had fruit and a tortilla for breakfast." Said Yavanna.

"What's a tor-tee-uh?" Said Ahsoka.

"Maybe you'll find out later today." Said Yavanna. "Lots of people like to eat their way through the city."

"We did that last night." Said Ahsoka. "Usually I have a breakfast with more protein."

"If you want protein, you might want to stay for brunch. We offer velocigator egg omelettes, wild boar ham, sausages, shrimp and grits, nutria jambalaya, and those are just the options on today's menu." Said Yvanna as she fastened a knob on the light fixture.

"Two breakfasts?" Said Ahsoka.

"Yes, brunch, or second breakfast, depending on the dialect." Said Yavanna as she climbed down the ladder.

"Sounds extravagant." Said Anakin.

"That's what many off-worlders say, but on a planet with days this long, you'll see more meals make sense." Said Yavanna as she folded up the ladder.

"Got any suggestions for what we should do?" Said Anakin.

"Well, you could go to Hrothgar Square and go to the museum in the meeting hall, you could climb the clock tower if you haven't already, they might let you into the cathedral if you ask politely, or you could go to a cemetery. You may find it fascinating, considering we bury our dead above the surface. The nearest one is just a few blocks away, at 013 Trafalgar Street. " Said Yavanna as she dusted debris off her black tank top.

"And we figured out how to eat these." Said Ahsoka as she dipped her sugar-encrusted bun the the cup of caff, the bun absorbing the caff like a sponge.

"There you go." Said Yavanna as she folded up the ladder and picked up the toolcase. "When y'all are done, y'all can just leave your tray outside your door and Cecile, Marie, or Rodrigo will come and collect it. I'll be in the lobby if y'all need anything." Said Yavanna as she picked up the ladder under her arm and headed off.

\--

Magenta pushed up on the lever and made the jump out of hyperspace. The streaks turned to stars as they re-entered subspace, only to find they were not alone.

The Armageddon and the Apocalypse stood above and in front of them, with their names and home ports emblazoned on their sterns over the exhaust pipes.

"And we've got company." Said Magenta.

"Their shields are up and their cannons are raised." Said Riffraff.

"And are pointed at us." Said Magenta.

"They intend to give no quarter to anyone they don't like." Said Riffraff.

"And they're hailing us." Said Magenta as Riffraff opened the frequency.

"Armageddon 41, commander Bismarck speaking. State your names and purposes."

"Are you interrogating us?" Said Riffraff.

"Very clever, you two." Said Bismarck.

"Are you interrogating us?" Said Magenta.

"Apocalypse 80, commander Rochambeau speaking. In wake of recent events, anyone coming through Xinwerik'ese space may need to be interrogated."

"Apocalypse 16, Ensign Galvez speaking. Allow me to explain. The day before yesterday we got into a skirmish when the Black Talon Gang started firing at us from fifteen clicks away. They tried to sink the Armageddon. Although they were met with blood and iron when we hit the decks running and spun our guns around on them, and they and their cronies certainly got the message loud and clear that trying to sink the Armageddon or any of our ships would be the beginning of a great tribulation, but no less, it was still an act of war and ever since we are under orders to be on maximum security indefinitely. We have suspended section eleven of our admiralty code, which protects individuals and vessels against self-incrimination. All vessels passing through Xinwerik'ese space will be given preliminary questioning, then determined if further interrogation is needed in space, on the surface, or can be foregone."

As it was, the damage was visible on the port-aft side of the Armageddon's hull.

"Very well put, ensign Galvez. Shall we begin preliminary questioning?" Said Rochambeau.

"We're ready whenever you are." Said Riffraff.

"Where are you coming from?" Said Bismarck.

"We're coming from Coruscant." Said Magenta.

"How many in your party?" Said Bismarck.

"Three." Said Magenta.

"State your names." Said Bismarck.

"CT-8118118/Riffraff." Said Riffraff.

"CT-1975831/Magenta" said Magenta.

"Senator Padme Amidala." Said Padme.

"Great. We have the Republic on our hands." Said Bismarck.

"With all due respect, is unwise to display partiality during a screening." Said Galvez.

"Do you have any armor or weapons?" Said Bismarck.

"Just the armor we're wearing and our standard-issue blaster rifles." Said Magenta.

"Engage tractor beam and pull them in for further interrogation." Ordered Bismarck.

"Wait! Wait!" Said Padme. She leaned over and took one of receivers from the dashboard. "I understand full well that you wish to stay out of external conflicts."

"Darn right about that. We have enough problems of our own without the Separatists and the Republic pulling us in." Said Bismarck.

"And I also realize that life on one of your ships is probably a far cry from life on the surface." Said Padme.

"Probably? More like definitely a far cry from life on the surface. Xinwerik' and the other habitable planets in the Xinwerik' system alike. Every Standard day is highly regimented, we're hypervigilant because we know we may enter a conflict at a moment's notice, the food is simple, bland and healthy, the only drugs allowed onboard are strictly for medicinal purposes and are kept under lock and key by our chief medical officer, and we go weeks or even months without seeing or even communicating with our friends and families." Said Galvez.

"We musn't fall for the emotional appeals!" Snapped Bismarck.

"So you would understand. I realize one of the questions you will ask us when you interrogate us will be what is our reason for visiting Xinwerik'. I will tell you now. My reason for visiting Xinwerik' in the company of my bodyguards is because I have...friends there who are not supposed to be there and I intend to find them and bring them home. Nothing more, nothing less. I come in peace, with my bodyguards, who are here to protect me just as you are here to protect the Xinwerik' system. Though both of us are at the ready to use deadly force, neither of us want to. We are no different in that regard. If you had...someone you really cared about, and they were on a foreign planet they weren't supposed to be on, would you come all the way to see to their safe return?" Said Padme.

Galvez thought of his own sweetheart back home. "When your mission is stated as such, you do not give indication that you pose a threat to us. We're giving you the benefit of the doubt, but you still hold the burden of proof. We will consider allowing you to find your friends and take them home. Allow us to discuss with our captain and our commodore. Standby." Said Galvez.

The air was tense.

"It has been deemed that you pose no threat to us. You have been cleared for arrival." Said Galvez.

"Thank you, Ensign Galvez. You have a kind voice. I think you'll go far in life." Said Padme.

"I'm pleased to be of assistance, and I suppose only time will tell." Said Galvez. "Apocalypse out."

The Armageddon and the Apocalypse then made the jump to hyperspace.

"Good one, Padme." Said Magenta.

\--

"Well, we're here. Zero-thirteen Trafalgar street. Holy Field Cemetery Number One." Said Anakin as they stood outside the wrought-iron cemetery gates with crests of tombs and monuments rising over the top of the white plastered concrete fence surrounding its perimeter.

"Good thing I recited it over and over so I had it memorized, even though I will admit, Trafalgar is a very strange-sounding name." Said Ahsoka.

"Maybe it's the name of a place in an alternate dimension where a great sea battle took place." Said Anakin.

"Preposterous!" Said Ahsoka as they entered the cemetery.

Once inside the cemetery, they were surrounded by rows and rows of white marble tombs in various states of repair. Some were fancy and well-maintained, some were shabby but still decent, and some had worn down to crumbling stone and brick and dust.

"It's like a neighborhood for the dead." Said Ahsoka as they walked amongst rows of tombs.

"They must think the dead need to live in fancy marble houses." Said Anakin.

"Isn't that an oxymoron?" Said Ahsoka as they read the inscription on the marble door to a tomb that had warped in the high humidity. "This is the Depaysant tomb." She read the name carved above the cornice over the door. "There's Eulalie, Elcid, Enrico, Eugenie, Edu, and Erasmo, each with their birth and death dates, and this tomb next door is the Cabezadevaca tomb, with Yael, Gonzalo, Isaura, Mateo, Izan, Alfaro, and Gentiana entombed therein. No shortage of unusual names to say the least."

"How do they fit so many people inside? There's only room for three caskets." Said Anakin.

"Must be bigger on the inside." Said Ahsoka as they rounded the corner.

"This is the Starchaser tomb." Said Anakin as he beckoned Ahsoka to take a look.

"I wonder if they're related to Nyx." Said Ahsoka.

"They may very well could be, unless Starchaser is the Xinwerik'ese equivalent of Antilles." Said Anakin.

"It's interesting to see what offerings people leave on tombs." Said Ahsoka. "Some people leave beads, some people leave flowers or rocks or seashells. I'm fairly certain this wreath of flowers came from halfway across the galaxy." She indicated to a tomb that had a withered wreath of lilies at its base. "Someone made a pilgrimage to leave an offering on that tomb."

"Who put all the X's on this tomb?" Said Anakin as they headed to the crumnling brick tomb across the way that was covered in rows of three X's drawn in charcoal, chalk, or graphite.

"Maybe people believe it will bring them luck." Said Ahsoka.

"That or maybe they liked to drink high-proof liquor in life." Said Anakin as they crossed another pathway.

"This tomb is carved with columns that appear to be a creation myth and an eschatology cycle. See? It involves a turtle emerging from the primordial waters, a humanoid skipping stones on the primordial waters and one of the stones landed on the back of the turtle which presumably became Xinwerik', and then the turtle made the jump to hyperspace, and this column tells of a humanoid sounding a horn or trumpet that awakens the dead, and one final battle takes place." Said Ahsoka.

"The Xinwerik'ese sure have some bizarre beliefs." Said Anakin as he inspected an empty shot glass that was encrusted with sticky red residue that someone had left on the ledge of the tomb.

"We don't want to offend anyone, even though they know full well that Xinwerik' is neither flat nor does it rest on the back of a giant turtle." Said Ahsoka.

"People do a lot of drugs around here." Said Anakin as they headed back and around another row of tombs.

"Hold it right there. Someone has opened their tomb." Said Ahsoka. 

Anakin and Ahsoka crouched behind a tomb while a short, stocky A'kkädienne woman in black overalls with Titian head and foot hair, with her head hair in two braids and her foot hair in two dreadlocks that tied around her ankles in bows stood on a stepstool before an open tomb with two spiderweb-encrusted coffins on the lower vaults and an empty vault on top, and very carefully, with a rake, she was pushing what appeared to be bones into the back of the tomb.

"So this is what they mean when they say they bury their dead above the surface." Said Ahsoka.

"Snips, hush. We don't want them to know we're watching." Said Anakin.

The A'kkädienne woman turned. "If y'all want to watch, step right up. I've got nothing here to hide."

Anakin and Ahsoka headed up towards the tomb. A closer look revealed the A'kkädienne woman was covered in freckles and had red eyes with gray scleras that were almost black, but she still did not seem threatening. She held up her rake triumphantly.

"Adelaide! Would you like another stepstool? Called a male voice.

"Not now, Remy!" She called back.

"So, what y'all see here is our family tomb. Around here, the water table is too high to bury dead in the ground. Dig more than three feet and y'all are underwater. So, we have our vaults in our tombs. We slide the coffin into a vault and brick up the tomb, and it gets really hot in the tomb. The body decays very fast. After just a year, only the bones are left. When it's time for another funeral, you take whomever has been entombed there the longest, take the bones out of the coffin, and then slide the bones down the back of the tomb so they slide into the compartment in the base of the tomb to make room for the next coffin." Said Adelaide as she pushed bones down the back of the tomb.

"For a dusty family reunion." Said Anakin.

"Well there you go! Took the words right out of my mouth." Said Adelaide.

"That must be how you can fit twenty people or more into a tomb that only appears to be big enough for three people." Said Ahsoka.

"Smart girl." Said Adelaide.

"I was thinking that the tombs were bigger on the inside." Said Ahsoka.

"Go to bed! Now there's an idea so crazy it should see the doctor." Said Adelaide. She continued pushing bones into the compartment.

"Adelaide, where should we leave the bricks so nobody trips on 'em?" Said a human woman with tanned skin and blonde hair who was wearing a pink halter top and white shorts.

"Ask Gunther, Rosalie." Said Adelaide.

"Here on Xinwerik', we don't believe death is something bad or evil or frightening. Just another part of life, and something that should be celebrated. Not something to be ignored or feared." Said Adelaide.

"Sounds like the sort of thing Yoda would say." Said Ahsoka.

"Who dat?" Said Adelaide.

"Someone we know." Said Ahsoka.

"That's another reason we bury our dead above the surface. It keeps us reminded of our mortality." Said Adelaide.

"I'm sorry for your loss." Said Ahsoka.

"Don't be sorry. Uncle Thibodeaux was very ill and had been pushing one hundred and fifty from the wrong side. We're not glad he's gone, but we are glad to have had him in our lives." Said Adelaide. "Hold it right there!' Adelaide set down the rake and bolted over behind Anakin and Ahsoka, where a velocigator had made itself at home.

Adelaide immediately straddled the velocigator by the neck, gripped its jaws shut, and put her chin under the velocigator's jaws.

"How did you do that?" Said Anakin.

"Velocigators have two blind spots. The snout, and the tail. You straddle it, you keep to its blind spots, and it's at your mercy instead of the other way 'round." She spread her arms. "Y'all wanna have a go at it?"

"We'll pass." Said Anakin.

"This one here is just a baby." Said Adelaide as she gripped the velocigator's jaw shut with one hand.

"Just a baby? It's as long as both of us are tall." Said Anakin.

"It can grow as long as a city block. This right here is a nuisance 'gator. The kind that escapes from the swamp, crashes your party, eats all your shrimps and drinks all your synth juice. It's illegal to put it back in the swamp. So, we do this." She took out a knife with a c-shaped pommel. "Velocigator scales are very tough. Almost impossible to penetrate, but there's one scale at the nape of its neck, the Achille scale, and we slide the blade under the Achille scale, like THIS!" She inserted the knife blade under the scale, braced the knife against her hip, and pushed in the knife.

The velocigator died right then and there.

Adelaide pulled out the knife and un-straddled the velocigator. "Remy! Henri! Gunther!" Get over here!"

Three A'kkädienne men in grubby work attire came right over.

"Get that gator tagged and bagged." Said Adelaide.

Remy, Henri, and Gunther started tagging and bagging the velocigator.

Adelaide brushed her hands off. "I've been wrangling velocigators as long as the city ramparts yonder are tall since I was old enough to count how old I am on one hand." Said Adelaide as she held up a six-fingered hand and pointed with two fingers towards the city ramparts.

Ahsoka's attention was then diverted to the A'kkädienne baby who was sitting on the floor by a pile of bricks, stabbing at a chunk of plaster with a knife.

"Are you sure the baby is supposed to be playing with knives?" Said Ahsoka.

"Let them enjoy their childhood." Said Adelaide.

Just then, the baby stood up, not letting go of the knife, and toddled right over to Ahsoka and hugged her around the shins so tightly it hurt.

"It's hard to say no to you, but where we come from, children don't play with knives." Said Ahsoka.

The baby then reached up and pointed the knife up at Ahsoka.

"And...I've never been asked to stand and deliver by someone who doesn't even come up to my knees." Said Ahsoka.

"There's a first time for everything." Said Anakin.

"You're just being given a token of favor." Said Adelaide.

Rosalie came over and pried the baby from Ahsoka's shins. "We've told you once we've told you a million times that when offering someone a knife you always offer it handle first. You can't go scaring the off-worlders like that, choupette." Said Rosalie.

The baby reached out and dropped the knife on the ground.

"The funeral is at the twenty-fourth hour and y'all are invited if y'all want to attend. We have a procession and music and a service and then we return to our hovel for eating and music and dancing." Said Adelaide.

"We have other plans." Said Anakin.

"Thank you just the same." Said Ahsoka.

"If y'all are from out of system, here's a word to the wise. Never exit a cemetery by the same entrence y'all took, or else an unfriendly spirit might follow y'all home. If y'all entered by the Trafalgar Street gate, take the Rampart Street gate to exit." Said Adelaide.

Anakin and Ahsoka continued through the cemetery.

"The galaxy is full of planets and species, but I never thought that a species like the A'kkädiennes would exist." Said Anakin.

"Only on Xinwerik' would you find a people who look completely non-threatening but wrestle with massive crocodilians and let their children play with knives. I think that baby left bruises on my calves." Said Ahsoka.

"I wonder if there's ever been an A'kkädienne Jedi." Said Anakin.

"Probably not, but then the very thought of an A'kkädienne Jedi is terrifying." Said Ahsoka, right as they walked out the Rampart Street exit to the cemetery.

"What would you like to do next?" Said Anakin as they walked along the sidewalk parallel to the cemetery in the shadow of the city ramparts across the street.

"Let's go see the museum in the town hall by the clock tower." Said Ahsoka.

"Your wish is my command, just be careful what you wish for." Said Anakin as the rounded the corner and headed up the street.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Black Talon Gang was a band of criminals who were aligned with the Separatists in the comic "Mask of Iron"


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has become WAAY longer than I anticipated. I ended up deleting a scene I should have included and included a bunch of scenes that should have deleted. I swear I'm doing as best I can without a beta reader!

"Well, we're here." Said Padme as they approached Xinwerik'. "It's certainly not flat and there's no sign of a giant turtle."

"You'd have to be very hopped up on synth juice to actually believe there's a turtle." Said Magenta.

"And even if there was a turtle, they probably would have eaten it." Said Riffraff.

"Initiating entry." Said Magenta as he downshifted the joysticks and raised the ailerons slightly as they entered Xinwerik's atmosphere.

"That turbulence is real." Commented Padme as they entered Xinwerik''s uppermost stratosphere.

"Let me know if you need an airsick bag." Said Riffraff as he monitored the circuit breakers.

"Thank you, but I don't need one." Said Padme.

"You have a stronger stomach than General Hapschatt. She was a good pilot but as a passenger she would turn green around the gills at the drop of a helmet." Said Magenta.

"And to think that her padawan thrived on anything that would make even those with the strongest of stomachs spacesick or airsick." Said Riffraff.

"They were a good team." Said Magenta.

"And they made a very convincing mother-son duo when the need arose." Said Riffraff.

"And they treated us as equals." Mused Magenta.

"Beginning descent. Multiplying three times altitude above field elevation. Visibility at thirty percent." Said Riffraff as he adjusted the navigation interface.

"Those mountains are snowcapped!" Gasped Padme as they descended out of a cloud and over the equator.

"They're always snowcapped." Said Riffraff.

"In a tropical region? It almost seems unreal." Said Padme. She pressed her hands and face to the invisisteel and gazed out over the landscape.

"Last time we arrived it was all lit up at night." Said Riffraff.

"Good news for passengers, bad news for pilots." Said Magenta.

"There we just passed over Himmelsöhne, and we're coming up on Haintfast, with Barrowbrooke to the southwest and Wightport to the northeast." Said Riffraff, pointing to towns below with two fingers.

"Why are you pointing with two fingers now? We aren't on the surface yet." Said Padme.

"Getting into the habit. I'll say it before and I'll say it again. Never, ever point at anyone or anything with one finger. It means you disrespect them, have disdain for them, or are angry at them. Maker help you if someone points at the center of your chest with one finger. That means they have had enough of you, are about to give you a piece of your mind, and are about to put you in your place." Said Riffraff.

"I don't think she's listening." Said Magenta.

"It's enchanting. I can't believe how green it is." Said Padme as they passed over the plains and and marshes and lakes and wetlands, with the Xinwerik' river threading its way up the continent.

"And we just passed Lichpool. You can see both their shipyards." Said Riffraff. "We're getting close."

"It's so beautiful." Gushed Padme.

"It's all a glamor. If Xinwerik''s personality reflected its appearance it would be covered in swamps that are full of undead things." Said Magenta.

"Magenta, Xinwerik' IS covered in swamps that are full of undead things." Said Riffraff.

"We're here." Said Magenta as he raised up the ailerons all the way, with the skyline of Lower Xinwerik' getting bigger and bigger.

"It's breathtaking." Said Padme. In spite of Riffraff and Magenta's cynicism, Xinwerik' had made a good first impression on her.

Riffraff opened up a frequency to speak with an air traffic controller.

"You have been cleared for landing, report to flight deck H, hold short of H8." Said a female voice.

"We're about to do a carrier landing. You wanna know what it's like to do a carrier landing? Imagine you're jumping off a hundred story spacescraper, and you need to thread a needle at the base, and the needle is moving." Said Magenta as they descended towards the spaceport.

"That sounds difficult." Said Padme.

"Done it before. Even ace pilots have difficulty with it. Not to mention last time it was at night and in poor visibility." Said Magenta as he lowered the landing gear and snagged the tailhook into the arresting wires. 

The starfighter came to a halt so quickly that Padme thought they would crash right into the starfighter docked in front of them and that they all would have been flung out of the cockpit if not for their restraint belts when they were thrust forward, and then when thrust back against the seats, they were thrust back so hard she felt her body would be smashed and her limbs were going to be sundered.

Magenta turned off the engine to the tune of a deafening silence.

"That was traumatic." Said Padme, her heart still pounding.

Riffraff and Magenta turned and gave her icy glares.

"Let it be the most traumatic thing you experience on Xinwerik'." Said Magenta.

\--

"Shouldn't be too hard to get to the square, we were there last night and it's kind of hard to miss the clock tower." Said Anakin as they headed up the street. 

"You're the one telling me." Said Ahsoka as they passed a group of primarily humans holding cups full of red cocktail.

"Did those people have rainbow whites of their eyes?" Said Ahsoka.

"They did." Said Anakin.

"So it wasn't my imagination." Said Ahsoka.

"It wasn't your imagination, but if it was I would say you had an extemely bizarre and vivid imagination." Said Anakin.

"And even if I didn't, somebody did." Said Ahsoka.

"Who might that be?" Said Anakin.

"Well, hypothetically, if we were in a work of fiction right now, whoever created Xinwerik', and by association, drugs that turn the whites of your eyes rainbow, must have had at least a slightly vivid imagination." Suggested Ahsoka.

"Hey Snips, don't you see the sign that says 'no breaking the fourth wall allowed!'" Said Anakin as he pointed to a street sign.

"No, but I see a sign that says "please don't tilt and drive." Said Ahsoka.

"Besides, it's ridiculous to even assume we're in a work of fiction, and even if we were, whomever created me and you was a genius, whomever created Xinwerik' needs a hobby and a change of scenery." Said Anakin.

"Well, we're getting closer now." Said Ahsoka as they walked down the same street they had walked down before, full of street musicians and pedestrians with open cocktails.

"We're really close now." Said Anakin, right as they came into view of the meeting hall, cathedral, and clock tower.

"The Benefit Street entrance to Hrothgar Square is blocked, so we're going to have to use the Charter Street enterence." Said Ahsoka as they continued up the block and to the entrance of the square. 

"So here we are in Hrothgar Square in the daylight." Observed Ahsoka as they headed through the square.

The square was a few acres wide and long, with grassy lawns where children played and couples picnicked, paved walkways with benches and tables where vendors sold their wares, tall shade trees, a fountain, and a statue of a human man riding a rearing steed holding his helmet up, right in front of the cathedral, which stood behind it, which was in turned flanked by both wings of the federal meeting hall, and surmounted by the clock tower.

"Hrothgar Jaxen, leader of exiles, defender of societies." Ahsoka read out loud on the plaque.

"Yavanna said there was a museum in the federal building." Said Anakin.

"Let's go there." Said Ahsoka as they headed up the stairs to the southern wing of the federal building.

\--  
Meanwhile, Padme, Riffraff, and Magenta had finally arrived and were standing outside the spaceport.

"Riffraff, Magenta, you are dismissed." Said Padme. She raised up her frilly light pink mid-thigh length skirt to reveal a blaster strapped to her thigh.

"I have my own protection."

\--  
A security guard stood at the gate of the museum.

"This museum is free and open to the public, but it comes with certain conditions. All visitors must wear a visitor lanyard, and no weapons are allowed allowed on the premises." Said the security guard to Anakin and Ahsoka. "I'm going to need y'all to surrender your lightsabers."

"You will allow us to keep our lightsabers." Anakin mind-tricked the guard.

"I will allow you to keep your lightsabers." Said the guard, and Anakin and Ahsoka then proceeded to get their lanyards.

"Hi, welcome to the museum of Xinwerik'ese history." Said the docent who was handing out lanyards to their guests.

Anakin and Ahsoka put their lanyards on, along with the other guests in the foyer, while they waited to be greeted by their hosts. A slim, pale human woman with brown hair that was parted down the side in a bun, an A'kkädienne woman with black hair in two braids, and a tall human man with olive skin and short black hair and mustache entered, all wearing the same gray and black uniforms entered.

"May I have all y'all giving me your undivided attention please!" Said the A'kkädienne woman in a voice so loud it reverberated through the foyer.

Everyone stopped talking.

"Good morning, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the museum of Xinwerik'ese history." Said the A'kkädienne woman. "My name Stéphanie."

"My name is Rodrigo." Said the human man.

"And my name is Chalmette." Said the human woman.

"We're going to be your docents today." Said Stéphanie. "Now before we begin, just a few rules to follow. Please refrain from eating, drinking, tilting, rotating, melting, or hallucinating, do not touch anything, do not take any flash holography, and you are under constant surveillance." She pointed towards all the surveilance monitors with two fingers. "Everything you do will be analyzed, and we'll control every step of your life."

"With all that boring stuff being said, let's start where it all began." Said Chalmette. She pointed with two fingers at the mural encircling the fresco of the foyer.

"When Hrothgar Jaxen lead a group of human exiles who were looking for a place to call their own after years of living nomadically in their flotilla of starships finally landed on Xinwerik', he made a land pact with the A'kkädienne people, who themselves had at one point been exiles. Hrothgar Jaxen purchased from the A'kkädiennes the entirety of Lower Xinwerik' and an a third of Upper Xinwerik', in exchange for extraplanetary trade goods, including but not limited to, but perhaps most importantly ingstaeite, a type of ore that glows blue in the presence of bounty hunters, giving them an advantage over their enemies." Said Chalmette. "This mural encircling the fresco depicts the signing of the purchase."

Stéphanie took out a gravity blade and opened it up. Its blunt blade was pewter gray.

"No bounty hunters here." She said and slid it away.

"The A'kkädiennes taught Hrothgar's exiles skills necessary for living on Xinwerik', such as velocigator wrangling, fishing, hunting, sailing, water purification, levee building and seawall building, and building houses on risers, while Hrothgar's exiles brought to the A'kkädiennes technologies such as hyperdrives, tractor beams, and holographic imagery." Said Chalmette.

"When word got out that Hrothgar's exiles had found a home on Xinwerik', those who had persecuted Hrothgar's exiles on their homeworld wasted no time in invading Xinwerik'. Despite having no previous military experience, Hrothgar Jaxen took a strike force down the Xinwerik' River. The pursuants had chewed a very dangerous combination of raw synthesella leaves and unholy basil. The exiles were grossly outnumberedand running out of ammunition, but Hrothgar very famously said 'hold to fire until you see the rainbows of their eyes." With the help of trained attack velocigators and the A'kkädiennes leading a surprise attack through the briars and the brambles and pushed them up the river and into the ocean and then exiles' pursuants surrendered and Hrothgar's exiles were free to call Xinwerik' their own." Said Rodrigo.

"And that is a very brief overview of Xinwerik'ese history. If y'all have any questions, feel free to ask, we have nothing to hide." Said Chalmette.

"Yawn." Anakin said to Ahsoka as they headed to the first exhibit.

"Hey, I thought it was kind of interesting." Said Ahsoka as they entered an exhibit about how seawalls are built.

"I saw a lot of plot holes in it. Something about their history doesn't add up and must be grossly oversimplified. Either that or they think we're too stupid to understand Xinwerik''s true history." Said Anakin as they examined an exhibit case full of equipment used for dredging up sediment from the ocean to raise a land mass's vertical elevation.

"I'm still wondering why if they're isolationists, how come their society is so diverse and they get so many visitors." Said Ahsoka as they examined an exhibit about water purification methods.

"So they have the technology to turn even the scummiest water drinkable, buildings that can be raised and lowered and withstand the most violent hurricanes, and can make plastic out of velocigator bones, but nobody has ever thought of building a droid." Said Anakin.

"I was wondering about that. Since our arrival I have seen nary a droid, even though one would think that on a world such as this one droids would do all the work while everyone else drank cocktails." Said Ahsoka as they then entered into the natural history exhibit.

"Evidently a nutria is a type of rodent." Said Ahsoka as they examined the series of bones that were on display.

"You're the one who said you are what you eat." Said Anakin.

"I sure wouldn't want to encounter that fish right there." Ahsoka indicated to the fossil of the giant fish in the center of the exhibit, with armored plates on its sides and two massive, jagged, curved and pointed interlocking teeth-like plates on the top and bottom jaws.

"And we do encounter them. That's why every ship on our sea, from fishing boats to freighters, are equipped with particle cannons." Said Stéphanie.

"The technical term for it is a dunkleosteus but 'terror of the sea' will suffice." Said Rodrigo.

"That thing probably grows as long as a star destroyer." Said Anakin.

"Read the caption. It does grow as long as a star destroyer." Said Ahsoka.

"They probably make them into chowder." Said Anakin.

"As strange as it sounds, we don't eat the big old dunkleosteus. We have taboos about it." Said Stéphanie.

"The good news is they're more afraid of us than we are of them." Said Rodrigo.

"I think we can skip all the leeches that have been pickled in formaldehyde." Said Anakin as they headed over to a long, narrow display case at the far edge of the exhibit.

"Maybe that's for the best. Leeches have a tendency to get way too attached." Said Ahsoka as they approached the long, narrow display case.

Inside the display case was a velocigator that had been mummified in an airless saltwater marsh, looped back on itself in a figure eight, biting its own tail. It was leathery, shriveled, and scaly, but looked like it could wake up at any moment, with the tip of its tail hanging out the side of its jaw.

"That thing is huge." Said Ahsoka.

"You think, Captain Obvious? It's as long as the city ramparts are tall." Said Anakin.

Rodrigo then displayed a holo of an internal scan of the velocigator. He pointed at it with a laser pointer. "What y'all see here are fish skeletons, which she no doubt had for her last meal, some rocks she swallowed for ballast, and, this right here, a twelve hour analogue clock."

"How did that get there?" Said another museum patron.

"I was wondering the same thing." Said Ahsoka.

"She swallowed it, obviously." Said Rodrigo. "But what is most remarkable and unexpected is that it is out of context. The 'gator hails back to a time before Xinwerik' was inhabited by any sentient beings." 

"That holo has been manipulated." Said Anakin.

"Not the first time I've heard that, but yes, it's there. We may never know where it came from, but if y'all want to put your ear to the glass to have a listen, you can still hear it ticking." Said Rodrigo.

Several of the museum patrons pressed their ears or hearing organs to the glass.

"I'm not going to listen. I don't think it's for real" Said Anakin.

"I hear it." Said Ahsoka. She raised her head from the glass.

"But for all it is or isn't, it sure is a popular exhibit. Look under your feet, Snips." Said Anakin.

"What is it?" Said Ahsoka.

"Look at that worn patch in front of the display case. Just think of how many people have come to see it." Said Anakin.

They then continued to the aeronautics exhibit.

"If you are from visiting from out-of-system, you may very well have been greeted by twin starcraft carriers, the Armageddon and the Apocalypse, also known as Two Sisters, the pride of the continental side of Falling Star Line's shipbuilding enterprises and the Xinwerik' System Defense Force." Said Chalmette as she indicated to scale-models of the Armageddon and the Apocalypse.

"You think they're going to hail us?" Said Anakin.

"No, but it'a curious how Falling Star Line manufactures both starships and seafaring ships." Said Ahsoka.

"That's because A'kkädiennes are the seafarers, humans are the starfarers." Said Stéphanie.

"Not to mention they have both their shipyards in Lichpool. I could understand building seafaring ships on land but it's kind of strange to manufacture starships on the surface." Said Ahsoka. "I know I said to cross Lichpool off our itinerary, but judging by these holos it doesn't seem too bad."

"Lichpool is great, just don't go out at night. There's something in the swamp water that reanimates dead tissue." Said Rodrigo. 

"In that case never mind." Said Ahsoka. She examined some more of the holos. "Remember when I said whomever christened the Armageddon and the Apocalypse must've been in a bad mood that day? Well, judging by the caption to this holo that reads 'Commissioner Schermerhorn christening the Armageddon by breaking a bottle of kombucha against her hull,' Commissioner Schermerhorn must've been in a great mood on that day."

"It's not pronounced "sher-mer-horn," it's pronounced 'skimmah-hawn.'" Corrected Stéphanie.

"I see a number of design flaws in their starships of all sizes and classes." Said Anakin as he examined the diagrams of components.

"They could upgrade if they ever needed to." Said Ahsoka.

"And if anyone on board their flagship carriers ever needed to abandon ship, there would never be enough time for everyone to make it to the escape pods in time." Said Anakin.

"That fifty bed open ward in the sickbay doesn't look too comfortable." Said Ahsoka.

"And what's with the no bacta tanks?" Said Anakin.

"This is a planet full of drugs. Some of them must be medicinal. Maybe they use something similar or even better." Suggested Ahsoka.

"We use hirudin. It's made from leeches." Said Chalmette.

"Eew!" Sneered Ahsoka.

"Don't knock it. Leech saliva is great stuff. Some may even argue that it puts bacta to shame. It has analgesics and antibacterials and healing factors. We have more info over at the pharmacology exhibit." Said Chalmette.

"Remind me never to get injured here." Said Ahsoka.

"Don't worry, I won't let anybody rub leech spit on you." Said Anakin.

"Another glaring flaw is the way the light fixtures and bulkheads are aligned. If rammed from the front, the light fixtures would swing backwards, and if someone were in the wrong place at the wrong time, let's just say that somewhere there's someone with a bulkhead with their name on it." Said Anakin.

"Chalmette, don't mind if I ask, but would you happen to know anything about the Xinwerik' System Defense Force?" Said Ahsoka.

"I served in the X'SDF for ten years. I had a one year assignment on the Revelation, a three year assignment on the Reckoning, a four year assignment on the Armageddon, and a two year assignment on the Apocalypse. I'm still on reserve so they could call me back at any given moment. I joined up because I wanted to stop tilting and do something useful for once in my highly meaningless life. You have to really love your planetary system more than you love hallucinogens and a laid-back lifestyle. Nobody from any of the Xinwerik' System's planets, especially not Xinwerik', wants to join the Defense Force because it's a life of bland food, sleep deprivation, temperance, and telling travelers from out of system to get lost when you're not getting fired at. Because it's so hard to get manpower and funding, all the ships up there right now are manned by a skeleton crew. Though Falling Star Line prides themselves in the Two Sisters, the fact of the matter is, they're both pushing twenty from the wrong side, and have scarcely gotten any upgrades. Some people believe that we should just cut funding for the collective defense forces alltogether and that it's a waste of manpower and money because Xinwerik' is so far out of the way that threats are rare, but having served in our defense force, I can tell you that threats to the Xinwerik' system are real and do prey upon us, and somebody has to fight them off. Sometimes I fear there may come a day we need to mobilize into a full-fledged navy. Especially with the war between the Separatists and the Republic going on just beyond our door, somebody has to stay awake out in space so that people on the surface can dream." Said Chalmette.

Anakin and Ahsoka went down the hall, passed several exhibits, and around a corner to an exhibit labeled "a cabinet of curiosities." They headed up to an exhibit that was crowded around with other patrons, featuring an upright glass case containing what appeared to be a branch in a humanoid shape up against a coffin-shaped wood board.

"This, y'all might be wondering about, is the tree root that ate Hrothgar Jaxen." Said Chalmette.

Anakin and Ahsoka looked at each other and shrugged.

"When Hrothgar Jaxen died, he was buried in the ground, as was the tradition on his home planet, on his estate on the highlands to the south. Five hundred years later, they were building infrastructure, and somebody had planted a hickory tree on his grave. They chopped down and uprooted the hickory tree, only to find oily earth where a body had decayed, some bone and tooth fragments, and an uncanilly humanoid tree root." Said Chalmette.

"His mortal remains are entombed in the pedestal beneath his statue in the middle of the square." Said Stéphanie.

"All right now, I don't believe this." Said Ahsoka as they headed for the exit and handed their visitor lanyards back to one of the security guards.

They exited the northern wing of the museum and back into the heat of Hrothgar Square. Ahsoka strode over and climbed onto the dais and stood on her toes and leaned against the fence encircling the pedestal on which the statue of Hrothgar Jaxen stood.

"Here reposes dust from the grave of Hrothgar Jaxen." Ahsoka read from the engraving on the base of the pedestal.

"And to think that there was a tomb right under our noses the whole time, in a park where children play and couples go on dates." Said Ahsoka.

"Zoe wasn't lying when she said this was the planet where the living meet the dead and together dance as one." Said Anakin.

"Let's go look at all the shops and markets." Said Ahsoka as they headed towards the Charter Street exit of Hrothgar Square.

"I promise I won't get too bored if you don't buy any souvenirs." Said Anakin as they headed up the street.

"Well, we've seen all the markets and shops." Said Anakin to Ahsoka as they walked along the boardwalk on the eastern shore of the river.

"And I didn't buy anything but a bottle of water from the source of the Xinwerik' River." Said Ahsoka.

"That's a necessity." Said Anakin as a more groups of people with open synth juice cocktails passed by.

"But we haven't deep-fried loth-pelican wings." Said Ahsoka, indicating to a vendor who was calling out their wares.

"The creatures in the swamps outside the city ramparts really fear you." Said Anakin as they went up to the vendor.

"Could we have two deep-fried loth-pelican wings?" Said Ahsoka.

"Coming right up." Said the vendor as he went about getting them ready.

They paid as the vendor handed them their order, along with a roll of paper towels.

"What's with the paper towels?" Said Ahsoka.

"Y'all are going to need it." Said the vendor. "Next!"

Anakin and Ahsoka sat down on a bench and set the loth-pelican wings down between them.

"These are almost as long as my forearm." Said Ahsoka as she selected one of the wings, deep fried but not too deeply fried, smothered in a spicy-sweet sauce, and garnished with sliced scallions and sesame seeds.

Ahsoka took a bite. "Now that is good." She said.

"Darn right about that." Agreed Anakin as he ripped off a strip of meat with his teeth.

"You want a paper towel?" Said Ahsoka as she unwound a length of paper towels.

"We both need them." Said Anakin. "I would have to say this is the best thing we've eaten here."

"For me it's a toss-up between this and the nutria etouffe." Said Ahsoka as she sucked sauce off her fingers.

"I would have to say it's this." Said Anakin as he took a paper towel.

"I could get used to it here." Said Ahsoka, watching the pedestrians with open cocktails and the street musicians and street vendors and barges and ships sailing past on the river.

"Everyone is used to it here. Everyone's all laid back. All conflict is a world away. If anything it's like we're in an alternate reality." Said Anakin.

"Or at least that's how it seems, considering everyone's cocktail consumption." Said Ahsoka.

"When we're done, how about we get tilted." Said Anakin as he gnawed on a bone.

"All right, but then, it's only eighteen noon." Said Ahsoka, indicating to the clock tower.

"You remember what the girl in the convenience store said. 'It's the twenty-fifth hour somewhere." Said Anakin.

"Let's get tilted." Said Ahsoka as she wiped away the last of the sauce and discarded the bones and paper towels in the nearest wastebin.

"We're right back to where we started." Said Anakin as they approached the dive bar known as Thirty-Six Midnight.

"Only on Xinwerik' would you find an eating establishment right across the street from a cemetery." Said Ahsoka.

"I hope this is as good as the staff in all those giftshops by the river said." Said Anakin as they entered. It had bare dark wood walls that were covered in framed pictures and simple chairs, tables, booths, and bar, and along the top shelf of the bar were large jars with red, purple, green, pink, and teal liquids with gelatinous blobs floating on top.

"And it's not far from our hotel." Said Anakin.

"What can I do for y'all?" Said an A'kkädienne man with red hair, red eyes with dark gray scleras, and a pug nose, who was wearing a flour-stained black apron.

"We'd like to have some synth juice. We're told you have the best there is." Said Anakin.

"That's what they say." Said Ahsoka.

"That is what they say? Well I wouldn't know, I don't drink it, none of my people do, but I sell it." He said. "My name is Boudreaux. Table for two?"

"Sounds about right." Said Anakin.

Boudreaux lead them to a table up against the wall and displayed a holographic menu.

"What might I interest y'all in?" Said Boudreaux.

"We'll have two synth juice cocktails." Said Anakin.

"Y'all can't have synth juice on an empty stomach. Y'all gonna turn your brain and liver to mush." Said Boudreaux.

"But we just ate. I really don't feel like eating anything." Said Anakin.

"But mon ami, sayin' ya don't feel like eatin' is like sayin' ya don't feel like breathing." Said Boudreaux. "Y'all hang on a moment." He retreated to the kitchen and returned momentarily with a plate.

"Deep fried velocigator tails. Wrangled it myself this morning. So fresh it slept in the bayou last night" Said Boudreaux as he set the plate with the two deep-fried velocigator tails and side of hot sauce down on the table. "This one's on the house."

Anakin and Ahsoka selected a velocigator tail and took a bite.

"Tastes like bantha." Said Anakin.

"That's what you always say." Said Ahsoka as she took another bite. "Velocigator meat is fishier and flakier, if not for a better way to describe it."

Only crumbs remained on the plate.

"I see y'all are ready for your synth juice." Said Boudreau as he came out with two very tall glasses on short, squat stems that were round at the base, narrowed in the middle, and flared at the top, filled near to the rim with thick, sticky red liquid over ice with straws and paper umbrellas on top. He set them on the table and slid them over to Anakin and Ahsoka.

Anakin and Ahsoka removed the paper umbrellas and placed them on the empty plate and then raised their glasses.

"Bottoms up." Said Anakin as they clinked their glasses and drank.

"It's very sweet." Observed Ahsoka.

"It's definitely very sweet." Said Anakin.

"Almost too sweet. And I don't even feel a thing." Said Ahsoka.

"Don't let it fool you. All the good stuff sinks to the bottom, so right now, where y'all are at now, is like drinking fruit punch. When you get to the bottom, that's when you start to tilt." Said Boudreaux as he wiped down tables.

Anakin and Ahsoka kept on drinking their synth juice without exchanging a word.

"I feel a slight tingling in my fingers." Said Anakin as he raised his hands and gazed at his palms.

"I do too." Said Ahsoka as she stared at her palms.

"Now it's spreading down to my elbows." Said Anakin.

"Me too." Said Ahsoka as she took another sip.

"Now that's a really nice sensation." Said Anakin.

"It is." Said Ahsoka. "Like this warm tingly happy feeling is spreading through my entire body."

"I could stay like this forever." Said Anakin as he took a slurp.

"Maybe we should be getting going now." Said Ahsoka.

"Could we get to-go cups?" Said Anakin.

"Y'all keep the glasses as souvenirs." Called Boudreaux from the kitchen.

They put a fistful of bank notes under the empty plate.

"Keep the change!" Called Anakin as they got up from their table.

Anakin and Ahsoka headed for the door and were about to exit when Ahsoka ran her hand down the length of the door.

"The door is cuuuuurvyyyyyyyyyy!" She said with utter amazement.

"Let's get back to The House of the Rising Tide while we still remember how to get there." Said Anakin as they opened the door headed out into the heat with their open hallucinogenic cocktails, just as they had planned.

\--


End file.
